Self-Sabotage stems from unconscious thoughts and behaviours that limit us and keep us
|
stuck - we’re all subject to them. Having a light-hearted look at the “personalities” of self- |
| sabotage helps us to see how we might be holding ourselves back. |
|
 |
|
|
Where would we be without her? |
Life would be an orderly bore. There’s nothing like a good dose of drama and chaos to keep |
| the creative juices flowing! Or is there? |
|
I’ve just had a lively conversation with a group of empowered women of all ages. We shared |
our experiences of the Drama Queen within. And, we decided we can’t live without her, she |
adds excitement, humour and sparkle to life. |
|
However, it was unanimous that when she gets over the top she’s an absolute liability. That’s |
when she’s become a saboteur. |
|
|
|
|
-
Insatiable appetite for attention
-
Super-sized overreactions
-
Grand (late) Entry
-
Talking over and Taking over
-
Sulking for effect (dare we say emotional manipulation?)
-
Traumatizing the tiniest pimple into a case of bubonic plague, and
-
Avoiding any positive action
|
|
At this level her dramatizing is draining for all involved. She is often heard complaining loudly |
of how busy, tired, overworked, underpaid, very important and misunderstood she is. |
|
However, her addiction to the drama keeps her stuck and sabotaging every healthy |
opportunity to become unstuck and move on. |
|
Drama Queen is so obsessed with getting centre stage at any cost, that everything else is |
consumed in the wake of her dramatic appetite. |
|
No matter how brilliant, beneficial or plentiful her choices are to resolve the trauma – she |
chooses drama and excuses her way out of a resolution with her favourite statement: |
|
“Yes, but…… excuses, denial, excuses..” |
|
|
|
(She needs a least one to keep the drama and trauma thriving) |
|
-
Your time is not your own
-
As soon as you get involved in your own needs you can be sure Drama Queen will
step-up her demands for your attention
-
You’ll be on call 24/7 and
-
Expected to make her dramas your no. 1 priority at all times
-
Your help is not what she wants, even though she demands it
|
|
You are not expected to fix her drama – your job is to provide attention until a bigger and |
better energy source comes along. |
|
Drama Queen’s fans often enjoy the sense of being needed and the illusion of helping. |
However, being continually drained of energy and unappreciated eventually leads to |
resentment and reaction – a great opportunity for a breakthrough! |
|
If you’re been supporting an over the top Drama Queen, I’m sure you’ve seen the pattern – |
you are sabotaging yourself too! |
|
That brings us back to: |
|
|
|
|
Once a hidden (unconscious) limitation rises to the surface as behaviour and we see it – we |
can |
|
| |
|
|
|
|
Once we have awareness, we can take the next step and |
|
|
|
Along with last months article I hope you are seeing more clearly how self-sabotage might be
|
at work in your life. As always I encourage you to accept the positive and negative aspects of
|
your self-sabotaging behaviours. And ask you to challenge any excuses or denials you’ve
|
been indulging in that just keep you stuck and not living your best life. |
